Thanksgiving 2009

I opted not to go home but to stay in the STL for Thanksgiving this year.  Instead my friend Jenn came up from Kentucky and we celebrated the holiday together, sipping wine and cooking our very first Thanksgiving dinner.  Neither of us had ever attempted to cook a turkey before, but we somehow managed to do so today, and quite well I might add.  We named him Bartholomew...and man, was he tasty.  Tomorrow we will make his remnants into homemade turkey noodle soup...

Oh, how I do love the holiday season.  Don't get me wrong, I am by far not one of those folks who begins blasting Christmas music from the moment the first leaf changes color, but I do welcome Thanksgiving and Christmas with open arms.  It's something about the atmosphere, the air of goodwill, the warmth, the scents from the kitchen, the TV specials and the company that I just love.

Most of all this time of year makes me reflect on my blessings and recognize the people and things in my life that I'm grateful for.  Though I'm not entirely sure why, I've been able to recognize those people and things a little more clearly this year.  Long story short, I have a lot to be thankful for, I've been overwhelmingly, indescribably blessed.

While I'd like to say that I always remember how blessed I am, I also realize that that would be a terrible lie if I did.  It's just not true.  All too often I forget just exactly how blessed I am and sometimes I lose sight of what's really important.  I think most of us do.  It's far too easy to get caught up in the day-to-day craziness and lose your grasp on what truly matters.  With that, I'd like to take a few sentences to express what I'm so thankful for this Thanksgiving, while I still have 32 minutes of it remaining.

Today, I am thankful for a Savior who loves me unconditionally and has forgiven me.

Today, I am thankful for a family who loves me unconditionally.  For parents who I can also call friends, who are wise enough to know when to step in with advice and when to stand aside and let me figure things out on my own, and who still remind me that I always have a home with them.  For a sister who still wants to hang out with me and who gives me fashion advice when I send her countless picture messages of outfit options for a night out or a big day at work because I'm fashionably retarded.

Today, I am thankful for friends who put up with me.  Friends who I can go months without talking to, and then pick up and call them and talk to them like we spoke yesterday.  Friends who will call me on my nonsense, but still spout nonsense and behave ridiculously with me.  Friends who will listen endlessly, without complaint, on a topic they've heard far too much about from me already.  Friends who will drop everything if I need them.

Today, I am thankful for the men and women who protect my freedom to type what I'm typing right now -- whose service allows me to sleep in a comfortable bed in a secure country.  For the men and women who spent today in and out of bunkers.  Especially those men and women who I know and love.  We haven't forgotten about you, and I want nothing more than for each of you to come home safely and soon.

Today, I am thankful for a job that drives me crazy, but that I love so much.  A job that provides for me, and is secure. A job that I am fortunate to have when so many of my fellow college peers are still looking for something that fits them -- and I hope with all my heart that they do.

Today, I am thankful for the strength to eliminate a toxic relationship that, in all honesty, should have been eliminated a long time ago.  And I don't regret it.  Not one bit.

Today, I am thankful for the breath in my lungs.

...7 minutes left for Thanksgiving 2009.  What are you thankful for?

Happy Christmas & Merriest of Merry New Years!

Coming home this time was different than it had been in the past.  This time around, while seeing friends is nice, I was really only concerned about seeing family and a few chosen close friends.  And I'm for certain past the stage of going out and acting ridiculous -- not sure if I ever hit that stage, at least not past a mild level.  A lot of my friends at home aren't past that stage.  And it makes it difficult to hang out with them.  I certainly don't look down on them for it, but I've definitely reached a point in life where I'm not just going to go somewhere and do something just because my friends are.  If I'm not intrigued by the idea, I don't have too much impetus to join in.  Certainly there are exceptions to this, but they aren't as often as they used to be. It is with this new found sense of self, what I am actually interested in doing, and places and activities that I want to associate with that I've found it a bit easier to not feel guilty for not seeing EVERYONE in my "little black book."  People drift apart, it's OK, it happens.  And as I said in a blog over the summer, if we maintained every friendship we had ever had we wouldn't have anyone close enough to really get to know us.

However, as a huge highlight to my time at home, I was fortunate enough to get to spend an entire day with my precious godson, Robbie.  He is absolutely adorable and perfect.  He's three-months-old tomorrow (Christmas), I cannot believe he's gotten so big.  I swear the next time I see him, he'll be graduating from high school or something ridiculous.  It's hard to believe that I flew home three months ago for his birth, it seems more like three weeks.  The end of this year has just absolutely flown by.  Heck, the entire year has flown by.  It is with that that I realized I had some goals I set to accomplish by the end of this year....lets see how I did.  I'm not too optimistic :/

1. Get into an exercise routine with a minimum of at least 3 times a week for at least 30 minutes each time. OK, so my job might allow me to use 3 hours a week to go work out.  Actually having the time to do that?  Sometimes it's more of a fantasy, but I'm still working on it.


2. Have at least $1,000 combined in my savings accounts. Hahahahahaha....not even close.  Combine my current not-even-close status with the fact that Uncle Sam is taking out a sizably larger amount of money in taxes than he was this year...so I'm not too hopeful that the amount in savings will increase TOO much.


3. Learn CSS & HTML, or at least have a good grasp on both. I've done a little more work on this, and with my new found tighter budget, I'll have more time to study up.

4. Watch at least five movies that are considered pop culture icons that I missed growing up.  Exact movies have yet to be determined. COMPLETE!  Lets see if I can remember: Footloose, Ghost, Coneheads, Top Gun...there was another, but I forget.


5. Use my yoga set and exercise ball daily for morning and/or nightly stretches. I was until I had to move my yoga ball out of my room to clean for company, and I expect to resume this habit once I return from the holidays.


6. Get more creative and diverse in my cooking.  i.e. pasta and soup should not be the core of my diet. COMPLETE!  I have gotten much more adventurous in my cooking, turns out I actually enjoy cooking...CRAZY!


7. Fly somewhere for a random weekend just because I can, booking this flight for next year is also acceptable.  Not yet, but I'll probably be in Tampa in January and then in February and then in Baltimore for two months starting in March.


8. Finish at least 3 books.  One each full month remaining in the year.  I'm finishing one right now, and I'm started on a few others.  I'm not sure what my issue is.  I have this problem with starting books, getting distracted by something else for a few weeks (busy, late hours at work, etc.) and I drop the book and then start another one once my schedule dies down.


9. Find a church.  COMPLETE!  I have found a church, and while I struggle with it not being a carbon copy of the church I went to in college, I do really feel like that's where I'm supposed to be.  I've also gotten involved in a weekly bible study with one of the other lovely young women there.


10. Find somewhere to volunteer.  I volunteered out at a Christmas Lights thing in Lebanon, IL and I'm looking for other volunteer activities that are low-commitment with my heavy travel schedule for the first few months of 2009.

I guess all-in-all I haven't totally failed on my goals.  I could have done better.  But I did at least meet a few of them.

Well I'm off, good night and Merry Christmas to all.

Meet My New Baby

OK, so it's been a while since my last post  - I have been extraordinarily busy, to the point of ridiculousness.  My new job is amazing, it keeps me busy and I absolutely love the work as well as the people I work with.  They are fabulous.  In addition to the craziness at work, I've had many visitors already.  Two weekends with my frien Rhonda and her daughters, and then a weekend with Mom.  All of which were awesome.

As many of you know, my car went totally insane around the time of my last post and after going through several decisions to buy a new car, not buy a car, wait till next summer, wait till the next time my car gets FUBAR'd, etc. I finally got real with myself about the situation and bought a new car.  This is my new baby.  Mine is "magnetic gray" and has a rear spoiler, but it is the hatchback.  I love it.  I most love the fact that it doesn't die on me at stop signs like my last did. :)

The 2008 election season has worn me out.  Completely.  Entirely. I'm toast.  I'm not sure if it's because I'm paying more attention to the election this year or if it's because this election has simply been dragged out far too long, but I am so over it.  I'm over the slamming of the opposing candidates, I'm over the ads for it, I'm over the hype around it, and I'm over the candidates that hang on for far too long.  However, I'm most over the fact that you can't seem to express an opinion on and issue or candidate without someone who opposes your thought coming to the conclusion that you are Satan incarnate solely for believing differently.  I still don't know who I'm voting for, and quite frankly I probably won't know who I'm voting for until my ballot is cast.

I can't honestly say that either party is really inspiring me to be on their side.  It's been some what of a tug-of-war for my vote.  And right now, the rope is not moving far enough to pull down one side or the other.

I suppose a big concern of mine is that voters are now going to make a decision based on their ability to make history because it's the first african american/woman in office.  Don't get me wrong, this is not an argument to only allow middle-aged white men in office, not at all.  I just fear that people who may agree more with the McCain side will vote Obama because of his race, and I fear just as much that people who agree more with Obama will vote McCain solely because there is a woman on the ticket.  Or that instead of finding who they agree with most they vote solely based on gender or race factors.  Irrational or not, it's still a concern of mine.  But November...please come soon.

I'm a Gypsy

It's true. I am a gypsy, at least part gypsy -- it's a part of my honest to God blood line. I swear. It wasn't until the other night when my friend compared me to gypsies that I truly took ownership of that part of my background. I've never really been one for ethnic stereotypes you know, all Irish drink a lot, all Germans like beer, all Native Americans do rain dances, I could go on for hours -- but now, I'm starting to see a little bit more relevance in where I come from as it relates to how I am today.

My friend looked at me and asked if I knew why gypsies never had any rights and continued to answer saying that they never had any rights, couldn't vote, hold office, etcetera because they were never anywhere long enough to put down roots, to really become part of the community and then he paralleled that with me and my lifestyle and asked me how I made that work.

If it's one thing you'll learn about me, whether you've know me for 20 seconds or 20 years, is that I am constantly on the move. I live and thrive on change. But his question made me uncomfortable, not because I'm ashamed of how I am or because of the accusation of being rootless, but because it's not something I'm fully sure that I've reconciled with myself yet. He's right, I am rootless, I am the equivalent to a tree that you buy at a nursery, I've got a trunk, and branches and leaves but my roots -- well they're kind of there, but they're pretty shallow and short.

So I stood there for a second, slowly walking with him, and I thought about it. And I looked at him and then thought about it some more and then I explained, hopefully coherently, that this is who I am, and where I'm supposed to be and what I'm supposed to be doing. He's right, I don't have roots, at least not the ones he meant, but not all people are supposed to and just because you aren't in the same tri-county area with the people you love doesn't mean you love them any less, it just requires a little more effort.

People either stay in contact or they don't. Some people lose touch of each other and there is nothing wrong with that. If we all had each and every friend that we've ever had around until the day we died we wouldn't have the people that are truly our core, we would just have a bunch of so-so friends that when looked at on an individual basis wouldn't mean a whole lot to us. And having moved as much as I have, I don't take it personally if I've lose touch with someone, sometimes it's my fault, sometimes it's their's and sometimes we're both at fault. But either way, it's the way that life works, people come and people go each for their own God-ordained reason. And if those I cross those people's paths again (which has happened on more than one occasion, in different cities, states and even countries than I knew them in before) then so be it, that's great. Speaking to this point is my dear friend, Chris, who I just recently got back in touch with. Some friends are just those kinds of friends who don't need to speak to each other all the time. And even though it is weeks, sometimes months, later they can call the other because something made them think of that person and they can pick up like they just talked yesterday. Chris is one of those friends, we picked up like not a day had passed and it was and still is great. Those are my favorite kind of friends, and that's not to say that I'm lazy with relationships because I'm not. I work very hard to keep the ones that I have because they mean something to me. In the same light I work to start new ones. But friendship to me isn't about talking all the time, it's about caring enough for some person and having enough respect to understand that life gets crazy and that even though life is crazy neither of those people care any less about the other person.

I found a quote that fits exactly what I'm trying to express via my sweet friend Tara that says:

"A friendship that can be ended didn't ever start."
-Mellin de Saint-Gelais, Oeuvres poétique

I explained all of this to Mike and hopefully it made some sort of sense. I realize that this mobile life I lead is not one understood by a whole lot of people, it's a very different upbringing and a very different perspective. Many understand my mobility no more than I can understand many people's immobility and the desire to stay in the same place for years and years.

With all of that being said I know that I might seem a slightly non-chalant when it comes to friendships, I'm really not. And I do probably take advantage of the fact that most of the time people will be there when I get back. That's not a good thing, and it's something I'm working on. But I know and believe with all my heart that the people who want to be around will be there for me and will want to be there for me regardless of where I am. That being said I also understand that people can't handle the whole long-distance friendship thing, it's just a difference of mannerisms, personalities, and perspective. Neither person is right, neither is wrong, it's just life.

And so this all leads both of us to no real conclusion, but I guess maybe at least a little bit more of an understanding: I am a gypsy. And I do have roots, just not geographic ones. I don't have a lot of life-long friendships but the few I do have are ones that I would fight and die for. I come from a family made strong from years of moving to new places, experiencing new things and enduring hardships together when we were all we had. I have a great faith in God that keeps me grounded and hopeful for the future that I know he has promised for me. I have roots, they're just different and I don't have as many as other people. And I'm okay with that, at least I am now. So, to my friend who put me on the spot, thank you. Without meaning to you really forced me to think about and reconcile with something that I hadn't yet and it helped me grow. I hope you're one of the ones who stays in touch.

Whoops...

It's been a few days and it's been a whirlwind of activity since I returned from my Seattle vacation, which was amazing by the way.

I returned on Tuesday evening and on Wednesday began preparing once again for the move -- tying up loose ends, running random errands, etc.  I FINALLY received my orders first thing Thursday morning in and e-mail and spent all day finding people who could answer my questions, getting my moving date set up, and starting the leasing process for my apartment.  I didn't get the exact one I want.  It's the same complex and same floor plan but it's up on the top floor, which is going to cost me $20 more a month and it has vaulted ceilings so heating the place will be more challenging, but I can handle it.  Thursday night rolled around and so did the NBA Draft.  Congratulations to my pal, Courtney Lee, for getting picked up by the Magic on the 22nd pick of the first round!!  He's a great player and I'm excited to see what he'll do for them.

Friday was a doozy!  Worked from 6 to 2, it wasn't a bad day just a long one.  Felt like 2 o'clock would never come!  After work I headed back home to prepare for my Friday even plans: dinner at the Melting Pot and Pixar's new flick Wall-E with Rhonda and her awesome daughter Kay.  They came to pick me up at 430 and we were off, we had to drop her other daughter Rachel off at a friend's house across town by 5.  Right before I was headed out the door Daddy dearest called the house to warn us of the impending doom -- another big storm headed out way -- and encouraged me to check the Weather Channel.  So I hopped on good ole www.weather.com and scoped out the problem.  "Severe Thunder Warning" it said, so Rhonda and I figured it wasn't anything that we can't handle -- especially after the last few weeks of crazy storms.  So we were off.  We got no more than 3 miles away from the house and BAM!  Torrential down pour, extremely heavy winds were shaking the car, it wasn't fun.  We kept on driving (since there really wasn't much else we could do) and by the time we reached Rachel's friend's house it had calmed down well enough so that it was just now just bad rain.  We had the radio going to keep us informed about what was going on and we got hit pretty hard.  Tornado force winds in the West end of the city.  This is probably the most damage that Omaha has actually seen. We've had a lot of storms and a lot of tornadoes but this time the damage was everywhere!  Trees were mowed over, some of them falling on houses, cars and on the roads.  Fences demolished, some roofs ripped off, several fireworks stands were collapsed -- some with people still in them.  As a final finishing touch it also robbed trees of many of their leaves, leaving the city in a kelly green decoupage.  Power is still out in a good portion of the city. The annual Memorial Park Concert was also being held on Friday night.  People were waiting for the show to start when the sirens sounded and the place was evacuated.  And I can't forget about the art festival downtown that was ruined too.  I can't imagine how many pieces of art that these artists had worked on were demolished.  It was pretty bad.  Luckily the storm blew over in about 30 minutes, but it definitely left a mark.  After the storm had passed we had to change plans, The Melting Pot turned into Moe's and we had to return to Bellevue to see Wall-E.  The movie was amazing so go see it.

Yesterday was my final day of shopping for the apartment so the apartment is now fully furnished, praise the Lord!  I never realized how hard shopping for the apartment is.  Trying to remember what you already have. Making big purchase decisions about things that you don't really know about in your first apartment.  What kind of mattress is best?  Is this setting on this washing machine really necessary?  Will I actually use this?  Etc.  But it's done and the moving date is set: July 14th.  I'm getting a little nervous, I'm still very excited, but it's weird.  I'm leaving home, for good.  Sure, there will be visits and they'll be great.  But this is it, I'm flying solo now.  It's very odd.

My Six-Year-Old Self

As you all know I just graduated a few weeks ago, and I'm staying with my parents in Omaha, Nebraska until I move for my "real job" in July. I'm loving being home and I'm terribly excited about moving into my first place that I can call my own in a couple months. I've found the apartment and I'm getting more and more preparations finished (i.e. bedding, cookware, etc.) for the move. Today's task has been to go through all of my old stuff and decide what to throw away and what to keep. I've found several keepers, several things for the trash, and several things to eBay. Among the keepers is what I'm about to share with all of you, my journal from when I was six. It was 1992, my Dad and thus, my family, was stationed at McGuire Air Force Base in New Jersey.

There are pictures to go with each of these entries but it will take longer for me to put those up as I'll have to devise a way to do it since our scanner is ghetto. Note: Everything following this is written exactly how it was in my journal -- cute six-year-old misspellings and all. I have made some clarifying notes next to some entries in {brackets}.

September 8, 1992: First day {first day of first grade}

September 9, 1992: Happy

September 10, 1992: Birthday {September 10th is not my birthday, nor either of my parents', nor my kid sister's...who knows.}

September 11, 1992: Weekend {I'm surfing in the picture I drew with this one}

September 15, 1992: Trees

September 18, 1992: {There are no words with this entry just a picture of someone crying. Me and my Mom think this is probably the day my Dad was deployed to Somalia}

September 21, 1992: I dreamed

September 25, 1992: If I could fly {the picture with this is particularly hilarious}

September 30, 1992: I feel happy when my dad coms hom love (or maybe leve) {this entry confirmed the Dad deployed to Somalia suspicion from three entries previous.}

October 2, 1992: I like Fridays because we go to gym to because.

October 6, 1992: I wish I could Hav Iscrem. {Ice cream???}

October 9, 1992: After school I like to go to gym after gym I go hom.

October 14, 1992: My favorite place is Disny Wurld and go to ThuD Math rul kusr Dr. {I have no idea}

October 16, 1992: I would to learn he {not sure if that actually says 'he'}

October 21, 1992: My favorite person is Jen. {Jen is my sister, this was after the first 2 1/2 years of her life where all she did was scream, but before she was old enough to make me realize that we would become close-to-enemies until I graduated high school.}

October *: Drugs are bad because they can mec you sick {that's right boys and girls, drugs with make you sick}

October 27, 1992: I am scared when i am all by mysef. {I don't know where I would have been by myself at the age of 6}

October 30, 1992: For Halloween, I am a cat. {the 'c' in 'cat' was backwards}

November 3, 1992: If I were President I would I would Tel all the piPsl to the WhiTE House {again, I have no idea, but note the date, apparently I was a pretty politically conscious child.}

November 4, 1992: Who won the President election Bill Clinton {again, politically conscious}

November 10, 1992: The nicest place is First Grade. {Wasn't it though? Snacks and recess -- what more could you ask for?}

November 12, 1992: If I were five years older I would babsit. {I did baby-sit a lot as a teenager -- a little foreshadowing}

November 13, 1992: I had a terrible day today {I probably missed my Daddy}

November 17, 1992: I like to read because its Fun. {I still think reading is fun}

November 20, 1992: School is importart because you lrn {I love the irony of spelling the word "learn" wrong in this sentence}

November 25, 1992: I can't wait till my brThday.

December 1, 1, 1992: My favorite movie is Batey and the Besty {Beauty and the Beast, maybe?}

December 4, 1992: My favorite stuffed animal is my cat and my dog. {I don't think I had a cat or dog stuff animal}

December 8, 1992: All I want for Chris is a Cat and Dog and for My Mommy and Daddy and Jennifer and me and ukol and my ant and my gapoy and gamoy. {Dad, apparently, was not home yet}

December 15, 1992: I want to give my Mom an Dad a reng Dalareng. {No idea what that last word is}

December 16, 1992: My favorite Christmas song is rockin ora the christmas tree.

December 22, 1992: My New Year's Resolution is Not tock bak to mom. {I'm wondering if this was prompted by a letter from Daddy encouraging me to help Mommy.}

January 4, 1993: Christmas was nice because I got a hed bad. {I got a head band. I'm glad that over the years I've kept the characteristic where it's the little things that make me smile (i.e. a head band)}

January 6, 1993: Don't talk to strangers because they are bad and tel yor Doddy and mommy.

January 12, 1993: Boat {ADD much?}

January 20, 1993: I hope the new President is nice {I should have also hoped that he'd keep it in his pants.}

January 22, 1993: Something good to me is vechvol and froot. {The only reason I knew I was talking about vegetables is because of the accompanying pictures.}

January 26, 1993: I would like to be a pilot because it's fun. {I have always loved airplanes, the sound they make and flying}

January 29, 1993: Mrs. Smith has a neat Job because it's fun.

February 1, 1993: when it rains i feel mad {I like rain}

February 3, 1993: I would like to be a herdresr. {Evidence that I was calling hair "her" way before it was cool to do so. I should be getting royalties.}

February 5, 1993: Lifesavers

February 12, 1993: I wish I was home.

February 19, 1993: Georg Washington is important because he was a General

February 24, 1993: I will save money for a home and a cat and dog. {Little Miss Independent}

February 26, 1993: I am excited because I am happy.

March 1, 1993: The wind was so strong that it blod the tree uy way. {This picture is also entertaining.}

El fin. I hope you all enjoyed that as much as I did.

Bekah v. Death

Death...I don't deal with it well, mostly because I've never really had to deal with it at all. In August of 2004, the summer after my senior year in high school, my grandfather died, and as crass as this sounds it didn't affect me much. He had had a stroke several months earlier and had been in a nursing home since then, and it was expected and I never quite got too close to him.

Two weeks after that, Uncle D died and that hit me pretty hard. He was one of my best friend's, Mary Beth uncles. I met Mary Beth, and thus Uncle D, in Virginia and we all became pretty close, he and his wife, the appropriately monikered Aunt B, became like transplanted grandparents who were always at church prepared with hugs and smiles for everyone to have at least 3 of each and were never afraid to remind you just how much they loved you.

Today, I found out that Aunt B died. I was on the phone with my friend Jay when Josh IMed me with the news. It didn't hit me, I mean, it was all so out of nowhere, I haven't seen Aunt B in 2 years. Then I found the obituary and it began to hit me a little bit more. Then I went to dinner with Daniel which kind of distracted me from the situation at hand. And then I got home and it hit me. It hit me good.

Aunt B was one of the kindest, most loving, self-less, God-fearing people I've ever known. Putting her needs second to all others and ready and willing to love anyone she ever saw. I love and miss you Aunt B, but I know I'll see you again.

Barbara McAllister Denson
HAMPTON - Barbara McAllister Denson, 66, joined her husband, Donald, in the presence of their Lord and Savior on Thursday, Nov. 1, 2007, as she slept peacefully in her home. Born Oct. 23, 1941, Barbara grew up in Dinwiddie County, spent her adult years in Hopewell, Va., until moving to Hampton, Va., upon retirement in 2000. Barbara retired with 26 years of dedicated Civil Service at Fort Lee, Va., in various office management, clerical, and computer positions. A 1960 graduate of Dinwiddie High School, Barbara earned letters for her participation on the varsity basketball and softball teams. She continued her interest in sports until her battle with polycystic kidney disease prohibited her participation. Barbara's greatest passion was Jesus and she lived out this passion in how she treated people-loving them, serving them, praying for them, and, most especially, hugging them. Her servant hood and selfless giving had tremendous impact on the lives of others meeting both physical and spiritual needs. Barbara had a way of loving you into the presence of Christ. A special blessing came through her leadership ministry with the Mayfair House Assisted Living Center where she led residents in worship and praise to the Lord each week as her illness allowed. Barbara was preceded in death by her loving husband, Donald West Denson; her parents, Hammie and Rebecca McAllister; five brothers, Jeffrey, Raymond, Herman, Albert and Myers McAllister; and three sisters, Mary White, Rose Alley and Rita Fitzsimmons. Barbara leaves to cherish her memory two daughters and their husbands, Rebecca and Robert Styron and Shirley and James Bowie; one brother, John McAllister; two sisters, Nancy Krise and Helen Pitman; five grandchildren, Jordan Bowie, Meghan Clonts, and Rob, Hunter, and Hannah Styron; a great-niece raised under her guardianship, Mary Beth Bowie; as well as many nieces, nephews, and cousins and a multitude of friends too many to name. A Home going Celebration for Barbara will be held at 7 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 4, at the Church of the Nazarene, 32 Tide Mill Lane, Hampton, Va. The Rev. Mark Wilcox and Chaplain David Green will officiate. The family will receive friends at the Church from 5 to 7 p.m. prior to the Celebration Service. Burial will be held at 10 a.m. Saturday, Nov. 10, at Southlawn Memorial Park in Petersburg, Va. Dr. Lewis Brown and the Rev. Charles Wallace will officiate. Memorial contributions in lieu of flowers may be made to Church of the Nazarene, (please note in the memo: Barbara Denson Memorial Fund), 32 Tide Mill Lane, Hampton, VA 23666. Friends are encouraged to visit www.mem.com to share words of comfort and memories with the family and to view a picture tribute of Barbara. Service arrangements are under the care of Parklawn-Wood Funeral Home, 2551 N. Armistead Ave., Hampton, Va.

Bekah v. Life Change

Tonight I packed up 27 years of my father's life. Tomorrow is his last day as the Vice Commander of the Air Force Weather Agency. Tomorrow is his last day of military service to the United States Air Force. I pulled pictures and plaques off the wall, some of tours I remembered, some of those I had only heard of. Put a scrapbook of Desert Storm in a box and as I picked it up I caught a glimpse the yellow and red, white & blue ribbons that had been pulled off the small flags that my mom, sister and I were waving when he hopped off of that truck and walked across the airstrip when he returned from war. The various coffee cups he's collected as gifts from units he's led and been a part of were piled into another box with his Jelly Belly jelly bean dispenser as well as his subwoofer and speakers that he swears can rock out any room. It's time like these, the promotions, the changes of command, the retirements, that I really learn about my Father, the Colonel. The troop he led into Iraq during Desert Storm, his time in Somalia, the various leadership positions he's held, pretty much his character as 'the Colonel,' because I don't see that side of him at home.

The next two weeks are going to be a lot tougher for me than I think I'd initially imagined. Because despite the fact that I am not a member of the military, this is my retirement too, and essentially my excommunication from an exclusive club -- the military dependent club -- which coincidentally enough is pretty much the only thing I've ever known. It's hard to explain, and unless you too are a military dependent, quite honestly, you'd never understand. It's scary. But here's to being scared, here's to change, here's to a new beginning.