Bekah v. Screen Doors

So, I had been home for less than 12 hours yesterday when I came in the house just before noon after grabbing lunch with my boss and friend. And on my way through the front door, arms full of stuff, the screen door decides to slam thus eating the back of my left foot taking a large chunk of skin a good portion of my mobility with it.

Dear Mr. Screen Door,

My foot is attached, it is mine, I grew it myself. Stay away from it. Good day sir!

Thanks,
Management